Surely there would be easier ways to commit suicide other than that. Don't go getting any ideas now. That's not what I'm getting at. Punishment is one of course. The feelings of inadaquacy that we all have at one time or another can be quite powerful in some people. No one knows the real reason except for you of course. I could throw out all kinds of ideas here and maybe never hit the one that is the cause. Some people just plainly have a built in need for self destruction. I really find myself at a loss as to what to say. I was happy that you seemed to be doing better. I'm disappointed but not in you. Just in the fact that it had to happen so soon. Because it happens to all of us in one way or another. I myself quit smoking for a number of years and then started again and have not been able to kick the habit since. The difference between that and other drug or alcohol addictions is that chances are I will live a bit longer than someone else. In the end though, if I cannot quit it will kill me also. But we all fall off the wagon once in awhile as they say. Don't be too hard on yourself. You're getting professional help and thats an awsome step in the right direction.

You ask me any question about anything, anytime you want and I'll make my best effort to answer as soon as I can. I certainly don't have all the answers but if you think it will help I'll do whatever I can be it oh so little.

I want to read what you write for years to come. Hang on cause we only get on shot at life. Even when it sucks it's too easy to give up.

Neil Young said Its better to burn out than to fade away.

I'm here to tell you it's not. I used to believe that. The flame you make burning out hurts like hell. And not only you but those around you that care. It's better to fade away than to burn out anyday.

Take care of yourself and let your friends help take care of you too. Someday you'll be glad you did.

 

Dark Lord of the Sith

Darth Steen.